Positive Praise
By Jessica Jordan, MS, OTR/L
Brain studies indicate that we respond to social approval in much the same way that we respond to monetary rewards (Bhangi and Delgado 2015). Praise feels good inside our bodies and improves our confidence, sense of self, our own personal efforts, and helps us feel like we belong. Some clients externally respond to praise with smiles and others do shy away from it, however modeling positive praise for our clients illuminates how to think and talk positively about ourselves. Evidence also supports that positive praise can be motivating and provide inspiration.
Here are a few of our favorite tips when offering praise:
Be specific! Highlight the action or what you are proud of! For example, “you really rocked at soccer today” “I can tell you took your time to clean up every piece, thank you!”
You can offer praise in the moment to recognize an accomplishment and you can also offer recognition and praise when you are reflecting on past moments to elicit feel good vibes.
Be mindful when offering praise. Maybe you know that he/she does better when the positive praise is given in private rather than in front of his or her peers or others. Context plays a role in how we also interpret that input in addition to our state when receiving (regulated vs dysregulated).
Here are a few of our favorite ways to offer praise without saying “good job”:
You can do hard things.
You really stuck with it.
How do you feel?
You listened to your body!
You really focused.
Wow, I see how attentive to detail you were when you drew _____.
I can tell you took your time.
Look at how far you’ve come
You did it.
I can see your brain working hard to connect with your body, keep going!
Good for you!
You’re a hard worker.
You have a great heart.
Way to go!
Way to override your body’s impulses.
Look at how far you’ve come.
I can tell that was frustrating at first, but you didn’t give up and you did it.
I am so proud of you!
Let us know below some of your favorite ways to use praise!