The Fourth "F" (Part 1)
By: Erin Clarelli, MS, OTR/L & Jessica Jordan, MS, OTR/L
Fight- Flight- Freeze- or Fib
Does your child ever fib? it is not because they are “liars”, but instead their nervous system may be causing them to do so as a “survival” mechanism! As occupational therapists, we look at mental processes in addition to overall mental health. Mental health is at the roots of our practice dating back into the early 1900s. Lying could be scary for a parent to witness their child do, which could raise concerns about their morals or innate “goodness”. The following theory changes that narrative and helps us think of how to support their needs vs worry about their internal dialogue and intentions.
So let’s break down the science behind this all. When the brain percieves it is under threat, it has to quickly make a decision on what strategy to use to protect itself. At first, only fight or flight were known biological responses, however it has not been discovered that there is also the freeze and most recently the “fib” response which is often seen in individuals with ADHD, but it is not limited to only them.
Let’s Define…
Fight: the body believes the threat can be overpowered.
Flight: the body believes it can avoid danger by running away.
Freeze: response that causes a person to feel stuck in place.
Fib: averts danger or threats for a temporary time.
So Why Fib? Let’s break down the Fib Mechanism
Although not the most effective, the fibbing response allows an individual to temporarily feel safe from a percieved danger or threat. By escaping their feelings or fear, shame or embarassment through the use of lies, individual manage to receive a temporary reward. The fib mechanism allows for the following:
Protection: although temporary, fibbing allows a personto feel protected from the feeling of disappointing someone.
Deflection: also temporary, fibbing allows an individual to avoid anger or consequences directed at them from parents, teacher, etc.
Extension: fibbing buys some time for the individual when there is no information avaliable or when the information is not going to be received well by the person or experience their nervous system.
Self-preservation: fibbing allows an individual to maintain their self-esteem and their self-worth, rather than percieving themselves as a “failure”.
But why does it even happen in the first place?
Weak inhibition: one may be unable to stop an action from occurring such as being unable to stop themselves from lying when under pressure for an answer.
Inconsistent attention: being unable to regulate their attention, or getting easily distracted, making it hard for an individual to be successful and leading to feeling the need to lie.
Poor emotional regulation: feeling a lot of fear when placed in a stressful situation which leads them to lie to get out of that situation.
Working memory challenges: not being able to understand the future consequences of lying, and instead wants to access a present relief.
A note on ADHD & fibbing
Though not only visible in individuals with ADHD, the challenges they face relate to challenges with inhibition, emotional regulation, working memory and attention regulation, which makes it more common for a person with ADHD to resort to the fib mechanism.